Following

Do you ever have those days when you just wish you could give instructions and have people follow them? It's simple, chaps, just do what I say, when I say it, and don't argue back.

Yeah, right.

Honey, the car needs some oil in it! Can you sort it out? Oh boy. Never send Mr Spanner off to do a job without written instructions. He tootled off and did the deed, as requested, and I thought no more about it.

So, I'm driving down to the supermarket, when suddenly I can smell burning oil. A dark smoke was seeping out from under the bonnet in a worrying sort of way. I pulled over rapidly and popped the hood.

In the depths of the engine, stinking and black, was the place where the oil goes in (Sorry, I don't know the technical terms!). Balanced, red hot, next to it, was the lid to it. The lid, plus a fair proportion of the engine, had a thin coating of oil, which had been shaken out all over the place during the journey.

I screwed the lid back into place and carried on my chores, surrounded by the smell of burning oil. Naturally, when I mentioned the lack of lid, and loss of oil to Mr Spanner, he went to 'fix' the problem.

He replaced the lost oil by pouring in as much oil as would fit. The engine, now seriously over filled, belched out black smoke so thick that cars following thought it was about to explode. Up one hill, the cars behind had to stop and back off, as the evil-fume-spewing car completely obscured visibility. It was an embarrassment for the best part of a week.

Well, we laugh about it now...