Bad Mommy. I tried to make lunch, I really did. But the chaos monster got me. Mr Spanner, bless him, is not organised. He would do anything for anyone, but not in an organised way. I retreat from chaos. I can't cope with it, so when I opened the kitchen cupboard to retrieve a saucepan and fifteen potatoes, three pan-lids and a colander fell out, I shut the cupboard door and left the kids to make their own lunch. Bad Mommy.
Mr Spanner had put the saucepans away, in his own inimitable style. He doesn't stack things neatly. No, he balances them on top of one another, irrespective of whether they fit inside each other or not. Invariably, the teetering tower of doom falls over and escapes with a crash when the cupboard door is opened.
Years ago, before all my cleaners left me, I had a lady that did (well, she did a bit, but not much). She saw me open a cupboard and dodge the falling tin of baked beans that threatened to break my nose on descent. I tried to explain to her that Mr Spanner can't tessellate or fit things together so they don't fall out.
She said "If he was my husband, I'd tell him"
Ah, telling him! I wish I'd thought of that! Do you really think I haven't?
posted by: Anna Spanner